Sunday, August 23

i ching - hexagram 38


Heaven and Earth, day and night, and man and woman are opposite polarities. The process of life comes into being through attraction and balance. But if people or life forces confront one another irreconcilably, something goes wrong. Temporary goals are left unfulfilled. Differences of opinion can never be discounted in the area of relationships. Conflicting forces are at work even within one person. Try not to repress the conflict but understand it instead as a spur to development. Don't aggravate conflict unnecessarily. Avoid biased or hostile behavior. Begin to see things in terms of their overall interrelation. You reach inner harmony if you find unity within the conflicting forces at work.

{which of the following apply to you?}

-You will remain an outsider for as long as you continue to be at odds with the group. You will find support with a bit of goodwill. You overcome the difficulties together.

-Hold on firmly to those ideals which mean something to you even if it seems that everyone is sworn against you. For all the bad times, everything will turn out all right in the end.

-You will come across a person or idea of further help to you. Furthermore, you need the help of external circumstances; everything is so near and yet seems so far away.

-Harmony cannot be forced when estrangement sets in between two people who belong together. What really belongs together will grow back together by itself. This is how the law of polarity works.

Thursday, August 6

"the parking lot gives me gifts"

We don't have internet in our apartment. It saves money, and forces us to walk across the complex to the business center to use the free internet there. The exercise is nice. Last time we had internet in our home, it became a bit of a vampire. We are both reluctant to get cable for the same reason.

Just now, I stepped out of my apartment, to make the walk, get online.

Stream of consciousness culminating in synchronous (unlikely) event:
[recounted here for your pleasure]

Wow, the sun is bright today. I can't even look at it. Face turned to the sky to be blinded. Repeat. Repeat. Strange how we forget how dependent we are on the sun for life. The sun is our father. The moon is our mother. Why is the moon our mother? Oh, yea, the correlation to the menstrual cycle. Women wax and wane with the moon. The call it "getting their moon," "being on their moon." That time of the month. That time of the moonth. Oh, that's it. Eyes pointed to the ground, avoiding the glare of the 5 o'clock sun, placing one foot in front of the next. On my way. There are thirteen moons in a year. It used to be, after the thirteenth moon/month, the king would be killed, a new king chosen; this would guarantee appeasement of the diety, a bountiful harvest, survival of the tribe. One king decided to use his authority to change tradition, give us twelve months, not thirteen. Thirteen becomes the unlucky number. Who was it, Mitch Hedberg? He said, "A lot of buildings go from floor 12 right to 14, they don't have a thirteenth floor. But everyone on floor '14' you know what floor you're really on..." Face points down, avoiding the glare. Having been in the car so often these past few weeks, under the sun, roasting with the other commuters, I feel no desire to "get my vitamin D." Makes me think about all of those other 'repression of the goddess' themes. The paradigm of the dominator culture, yang, individualistic, conquistador, overwhelming the partnership culture, yin, group-minded, earth mother. Tom Robbins wrote a lot about this in Skinny Legs and All. Terrence McKenna wrote a lot about this in Food of the Gods. Easter is named after Astarte/Ashtar/Ishtar, a former name of the divine goddess. We don't know this about our own traditions. I wonder where else the signs of the coup are. I suppose if you want to change a culture, you change their holidays, their holy days. You change the rituals of the masses. Every culture has them: Ramadan, Kwanzaa, Chinese New Year, etc. There is a universal desire in us to have parties, dates on our calendars, social codes with irrational traditions and behaviors that somehow unify the strangers in the same strange land. The sabbath. The fourth of July. Christmas. Wow, don't get me started on Christmas. The one with possibly the most interesting hybrid of backstories behind it, the purest of holidays in principle, the one most easily mangled into a marketing/consumer/shopping mall/landfill orgy.
Head pointed down, eyes averting the sun. A green flicker, my eye focuses on the pavement just ahead. I squat down to inspect the tiny piece of litter, to receive the August gift of the asphalt parking lot:

Tuesday, August 4

two years

Well, it's august. That means that this blog has been going for two years already. How time does fly. We all know what kind of twists and turns life has taken in the last two years, so dramatic. Personally, and despite the turmoil beyond my control, I look back on the past two years and feel a huge sense of accomplishment. I finished school, got the girl, and started working. This Friday I test for my black belt with the AJJF. I'm starting a business. I just dropped my new suit off for tailoring with the little korean woman in Downers Grove. It's still hot out here, but there's a watermelon waiting for me in the kitchen.

Things are looking up.